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April Showers

Disclaimer: this post has very little to do with photography…

In the summer of 2009, when we returned home from being abroad for a few weeks, we were greeted by a an abomination of color; more crimson and gray than any purple blooded human could rightfully bear. A Coug fan had infiltrated our home and planted so much paraphernalia that I wondered if it would ever be completely eradicated…it was kind of like sand, except with static; static-y sand. It wouldn’t go away.

  • posters
  • pom poms
  • a nicely folded “WSU Dad” sweatshirt in my closet
  • at least a half dozen blown up ‘coug bats’ tacked up throughout the house
  • a fleece blanket on my reading chair
  • a pair of rolled up socks tucked under my normally used ones
  • a startlingly brief WSU course handbook
  • a car decal…on my car
  • eleventeen thousand one centimeter square logo stickers stuck in the most insidious locations (a knife handle, my tooth brush, my steering wheel, my TV remote, my hot sauce, an egg, my lawnmower (that was below the belt), and our front door handle just to name a few)
  • coasters
  • a WSU bottle opener in the drawer that said something original like “Huck the Fuskies” when you opened a beer

…you get the idea. If a respectable person were to have dropped by in the days that followed, I would have had to have diverted them from the central part of the house just to be able to save face.

My sources alerted me to a few suspects and I made discreet inquiries…soon I had the culprit in my sights.

Instant gratification, especially when planning revenge, is tempting. But utilizing time to leverage payback holds significant power.

Online Sales Representative for Husky Bulb Company:
“How may I assist you?”
“May I have 10,000 purple and gold crocus bulbs please?”

And so, while my nemesis was away on a trip of his own, under the cover of a pregnant October sky, I painstakingly punctured holes and inserted bulbs in his manicured turf just below his WSU logo paver. Making every effort to keep all exposed dirt to a minimum so as not to alert him to my retaliation, I then retreated back up to my den to let Mother Nature do her work.

Snow flew, and as the months passed my anticipation steadily escalated. Spring began to show…my eyes were keen to find the first crocus bulbs in the beds around my home. Finally they sprang forth brilliantly in front of our house. Surely I’d be getting a call soon.

Days passed, and with their passing, my hopes waned.

Finally, I decided to drop by just to say ‘hi’. After a nonchalant stroll about his yard, I came to the crushing realization that my plan had not worked. Mother Nature, my sole confidant, had betrayed me with a combination of early freezing temperatures, deer and voles. I consoled myself with a less than half-hearted self congratulatory pat on the back telling myself that it was a good try. And then I promptly forgot about the whole thing.

Until today.

It seems that Mother Nature has her own stash of irony to dish out when she sees fit…and with any luck, she will continue to dish it out for many springs to come.

University of Washington: clearly the perennial favorite.

Categories: Abstract, Home Tags: , ,
  1. jill calvert
    May 17, 2011 at 10:37 PM

    Ah yes….somebody, or thing, is clearly looking down on you. Patience my friend, and an open eye!! Beware!

    • EAW
      May 19, 2011 at 11:41 AM

      Interesting; it appears that the logo stone was moved between planting of the bulbs and the capturing of the 2nd photo. I didn’t disclose this in the original post, but the flowering UW image was shot by the culprit. Clearly he/she/they felt the need to bolster his/her/their position by changing the position of the stone (note the dark groove in the grass just below the central white stone.) Yet another interesting tactic…

  2. EAW
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